The rest of the story

We found out we were pregnant just before Thanksgiving in 2010. I thought ok 3rd child no big deal we can do this. I have a daughter who is now 5 and a son 2 1/2 years old. By early December I felt like something was up. I had started having terrible growing pains and new it was way to early to be feeling them so I assumed I was further along than I initially thought. But my daughter was running around telling people I was having twins, I never said this to her so I'm not sure where she got the idea. On December 8th I had a doctor's appt. with my family doctor and mentioned these pains. She proceeded to send me to the hospital for an ultrasound to find out the cause. I looked over at the ultrasound machine and saw 2 circles on the screen. I asked the tech is that what I think it is? She replied what do you think you see? I said twins? She said congratulations your 8 weeks along with twins! We were ecstatic! How exciting to be having twins, I always wanted twins since I was a little girl. My brothers are identical mirror opposites. So I knew how amazing twins were. We found out at 19 weeks that we were having fraternal girls. It was a long pregnancy but I was healthy and so were they. At 37 and a half weeks pregnant I drove myself to the hospital with contractions 5 minutes apart out of nowhere. Bryan had to take our son to his grandparents and my daughter was with her other grandma. I started to worry at the hospital when I found out I was dilated to 5cm and they wanted to start the c-section with or without Bryan. Luckily he made it with only a few minutes to spare, I was already in the O.R. The twins were born a minute apart Evangelyn was 6lb. 4oz and Avalyn 5lb. 6oz. Both healthy and needed no assistance. We went home 4 days later. Over the next two months I was the happiest I have ever been. I loved being a mother to twins
it was wonderful. To watch 2 beautiful babies learn to smile was so exciting. I started to think about all the other firsts we would share with these beautiful girls. Playing, sitting, crawling, walking, talking, ect... You never imagine you would wake up on the day they were 8 weeks old and find one of your beautiful girls gone. I screamed and screamed I couldn't stop Bryan came in from the other bed room where he was sleeping to find out what was wrong, he knew instantly. He told me to go call 911 and I told the operator that my daughter was dead, everything from then was a blur. The ambulance and police arrived and worked on her in the ambulance then at the hospital but it was to late she was gone.
In my next post I will tell you what happens after we lost our baby. I don't feel that these things are handled nearly correctly for grieving families.

Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there...I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am a diamond in the snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.


When you awake in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starshine at night
Do not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there...I did not die